Fina’s Deep Fried Hazelnut Cream Fluffernutter, Inspired by Ingrid Thoft’s Detective Novel IDENTITY
Fina Ludlow rarely eats real food. The private investigator heroine in Ingrid Thoft’s Identity grabs a package of whatever sweet confection she can find in her mostly empty apartment cupboards, along with a high calorie drink, idly munches and chugs, sometimes while perched on the kitchen counter, and then calls it a day. When she meets with clients at various restaurants, she picks at her food, I suppose because it lacks the syrupy richness she is used to. But is she overweight? No. Unhealthy from lack of nutrients? Doesn’t seem to be. Even when being pummeled by a would-be assassin, Fina stays on her feet and has the strength to endure another good pounding a few days later. And she gives as good as she gets. This is probably because she has an annoying habit of popping into the kitchens of various friends around meal times a couple of times a week, which gives her the strength she needs to snoop through suspects’ offices and art studios, while maintaining relationships with either of her two casual lovers.
I was envious, as I followed her daily routine with my jaw hanging, that anyone could possess such a metabolism, until I remembered that she’s a made-up character in a book. If I were a friend or family member of Fina’s in Identity, and since she is already fond of peanut butter and marshmallow fluffernutter sandwiches, I’d ditch the meatloaf and mashed potatoes idea and be ready for something the compulsive detective would really be happy to devour if she dropped by my house near suppertime– a panko battered Nutella fluffernutter, deep fried in hot oil, oozing marshmallow and hazelnut cream.
I gathered my ingredients and made a gooey mess of a sandwich before battering and frying it. The end result was so rich and overly sweet, as well as extremely messy, that I will never EVER eat another fluffernutter. But this one was for fictitious Fina whom I believe would have washed down every bite with gulps of Pepsi before asking for seconds.
Fina’s Deep Fried Hazelnut Cream Fluffernutter
White bread. Whole grain, low sodium, or low fat, gluten free, or any other such nonsense just won’t do. We are trying to make imaginary Fina happy.
Hazelnut cream. I used Nutella, of course.
A beaten egg
Oil for frying
Spread the marshmallow cream on one piece of bread.
Nutella goes on the other.
Make a sandwich and dip it in beaten egg.
Dip in panko.
Fry in hot oil for a few minutes on one side.
Flip and fry the other side till golden.
Do your best to get it in your mouth, it’s messy, and have something nearby to help wash down all that goo. Milk. Don’t use Pepsi, as Fina would. It’s just wrong.